Cleanse your body, mind and soul… as long as The Man says it’s alright?!
Today I began the reshaping of my body to accompany the already now advancing reshape of my mind. I awoke at six in the morning like a shuffling grizzly bear, eyes full of sleep and limbs full of warm sheets envy and thrust myself beneath a warm shower. Once my senses had awoken and the suitably masculine training kit (lies, all lies) had adorned my body like a suit of armour, my training buddy and inspiration, Jay, and I set off to the gym. Now I am all for joining a council gym… supporting the local area, buying into fitness rather than a heavily branded mega corporation and so Jay and I started our work out. In Bethnal Green’s council gym we toned not only my muscles but my knowledge of training methods, form and abilities with a sense of purpose, fun and passion.
And then ‘The Man’ had to rear his ugly head.
One of the staff called Jay aside like he was about to receive a telling off inside the Headmaster’s office, perhaps with the promise of a caning too, as they deemed it ‘wrong for him to be personal training me’ in the gym. Now hold on one second Mr Man (a reluctant looking ‘Rachel’ to her friends) I thought this space was reserved for the promotion of fitness both physical and mental and the ideal of ‘Wellness’ in general… that is after all the name of the gym, is it not?
I explained that Jay was my friend and merely aiding me in correcting my form and acting as a training buddy, and my eloquent nature and ability to logically prove even the most self-righteous of adversaries that they are utterly moronic proved a swift end to the accusations. One meat-headed personal trainer, probably lamenting the loss of an extra pay cheque, to a decent and far more intelligent human being driven not by monetary gain but a desire to help a friend, made some rather unprofessional and pathetic comments. Suffice to say we stuck it to the man, finished our training, made sure the ignorance of the knuckle-dragging trainer was rectified by the gym manager and I even had a little bond with poor old Rachel over my subsequent and necessary (previously undisclosed to me) induction.
Tomorrow the war continues… we won the battle for Wellness Gym, how will I fair against the Army of Love Handles?
Don’t let The Man hold you down my friends. Better yourselves. If you decide to make a concious effort to improve your physical, mental and nutritional health with friends or by yourself, never lose sight of your goals. However, if you need a little heroic hand as you follow your own Pilgrimage to pumping pectoral perfection… well, Sir Leach of London is always here to aid you.
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EVENTS CALENDAR
Men In Masks at Together
March-12-2010-
LOCATION:
The Coronet,
Elephant & Castle,
28 New Kent Road
London,
SE1 6TJWHAT:
Men In Masks take up their residency and play the launch party of the newly reformed TOGETHER clubnight… let the immense club scene thrive once more!
ADMISSION:
£10
Leach on Society Comedy Club with Jack Whitehall AND Isy Suttie + guests
March-17-2010-
LOCATION:
Paradise Pub,
19 Kilburn Lane,
London,
W10 4AEWHAT:
8PM-10:30PM
advance £3 tickets from http://www.ticketweb.co.uk or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) for guestlist.
‘Leach on Society Comedy Club’
Comedian and TV presenter Jeff Leach hosts this off-kilter, no-holds-barred comedy night at Paradise by way of
Kensal Rise. Featuring the finest new stand up talent, live musical comedy acts, improvisation and sketch groups all
lovingly brought together by tv’s newest rock ‘n’ roller. Content will be of an adult nature, sanitary wipes will be
provided.Line up:
Jack Whitehall
Isy Suttie
James Acaster
Lloyd Griffith
Jeff LeachADMISSION:
£3 advance / £5 door
Men In Masks at Proud Galleries
March-19-2010-
LOCATION:
Proud Galleries,
Camden Stables,
Chalk Farm Road,
London.WHAT:
11:00PM
Men In Masks aka Jeff Leach DJ at Camden’s finest club!
ADMISSION:
£5
Leach on Society Comedy Club with Brett Goldstein, James Redmon + guests
March-24-2010-
LOCATION:
Paradise Pub,
19 Kilburn Lane,
London,
W10 4AEWHAT:
8PM-10:30PM
advance £3 tickets from http://www.ticketweb.co.uk or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) for guestlist.
‘Leach on Society Comedy Club’
Comedian and TV presenter Jeff Leach hosts this off-kilter, no-holds-barred comedy night at Paradise by way of
Kensal Rise. Featuring the finest new stand up talent, live musical comedy acts, improvisation and sketch groups all
lovingly brought together by tv’s newest rock ‘n’ roller. Content will be of an adult nature, sanitary wipes will be
provided.Line up:
Brett Goldstein
James Redmond
Tom Webb
The Sunday Defensive
Jeff LeachADMISSION:
£3 advance / £5 door
Men In Masks at The Footloose Party
March-26-2010-
LOCATION:
The Castle,
Commercial Road,
Aldgate,
London.WHAT:
Jeff will be spinning dirty electro, minimal gutteral bass and jackin beats under his Men In Masks moniker with french dj superstar The Footloose.
ADMISSION:
£FREE
Men In Masks at Transmission, Dublin
March-27-2010-
LOCATION:
The Button factory,
Dublin,
Ireland.WHAT:
10PM-5AM
Men In Masks aka Jeff Leach DJs at Dublin’s finest club event alongside the talented Transmission DJs.
ADMISSION:
10 EUR
Men In Masks at Milk
April-03-2010-
LOCATION:
333 Old Street,
London,
EC1V 2PE.WHAT:
Men In Masks aka Jeff Leach plays at this fantastic shoreditch night the usual mix of dirty electro, house, jackin beats and dubstep for you to get down and very very dirty to.
ADMISSION:
£FREE
Leach on Society Comedy Club with Magnus Betner, Adam Tempest + guests
April-07-2010-
LOCATION:
Paradise Pub,
19 Kilburn Lane,
London,
W10 4AEWHAT:
8PM-10:30PM
advance £3 tickets from http://www.ticketweb.co.uk or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) for guestlist.
‘Leach on Society Comedy Club’
Comedian and TV presenter Jeff Leach hosts this off-kilter, no-holds-barred comedy night at Paradise by way of
Kensal Rise. Featuring the finest new stand up talent, live musical comedy acts, improvisation and sketch groups all
lovingly brought together by tv’s newest rock ‘n’ roller. Content will be of an adult nature, sanitary wipes will be
provided.Line up:
Magnus Betner
Adam Tempest
Andrea Hubert
Maddy Nebraska
Matthew Highton
Jeff LeachADMISSION:
£3 advance / £5 door
Men In Masks at Boink
April-09-2010-
LOCATION:
Cross Kings Jester Bar,
Kings Cross,
London.WHAT:
This new night welcomes Men In Masks and The Coolness to their launch night. Expect carnage, beats, mayhem and nudity.
ADMISSION:
£TBC
Men In Masks at Club Kamikaze
April-10-2010-
LOCATION:
Club Kamikaze,
Jersey.WHAT:
Expect big bass, dirty beats and plenty of raucous behaviour from Jeff under his Men In Masks dj moniker at this superb Jersey club night!
ADMISSION:
£TBC
Leach on Society Comedy Club with Dave Gibson AND Rob Beckett + guests
April-21-2010-
LOCATION:
Paradise Pub,
19 Kilburn Lane,
London,
W10 4AEWHAT:
8PM-10:30PM
advance £3 tickets from http://www.ticketweb.co.uk or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) for guestlist.
‘Leach on Society Comedy Club’
Comedian and TV presenter Jeff Leach hosts this off-kilter, no-holds-barred comedy night at Paradise by way of
Kensal Rise. Featuring the finest new stand up talent, live musical comedy acts, improvisation and sketch groups all
lovingly brought together by tv’s newest rock ‘n’ roller. Content will be of an adult nature, sanitary wipes will be
provided.Line up:
SPECIAL GUEST HEADLINER TO BE ANNOUNCED
Dave Gibson
Rob Beckett
Jessica Fostekew
Kishore Nayar
Ben Target
Jeff LeachADMISSION:
£3 advance / £5 door
Jeff Leach stand up at Electic Mouse Angel
April-29-2010-
LOCATION:
The Regent
201 Liverpool Road
Islington
London
N1 1LXWHAT:
Jeff Leach will be performing his revealing and hard hitting material at this awesome intimate stand up night. Arrive early as the venue is petite and the night is sweet!
ADMISSION:
£1