“Drug Babies” A Tale Of Immorality
A middle aged woman who was at one of my clubnights last night was gurning her face off in front of the dj booth all night long. After the gig, she proceeded to harass myself and my chums in an attempt to join our after party entourage.
Location - Club - 02:00AM
Gurning Lady: “Hey, hey you! Great set! Great night! Let’s not end it here, I’m coming with you!”
Me: “I’m sorry but the place we’re going to is a private house and the owners are a bit tight with who they allow in, sorry again.”
Gurning Lady: “Awwww come on, don’t be like that! I had a baby three weeks ago, I NEED a good party tonight.”
Me: “What? You gave birth three weeks ago? Are you breast-feeding this child?”
Gurning Lady: “Oooh saucy! Yes I am as it happens. Why? Do you want a go instead?” *lopsided wink*
NOTE: Dear mothers… do not breast feed your children drug-milk.
Location - Back Garden Reflective Chatting Time - 03:00AM
My Friend: “I mean, I can’t BELIEVE she is breast feeding and going out and taking all that shit and drinking so much.”
Me: “I know. Technically that baby is going to get off its tits, off HER tits. It’s a major moral conundrum in a gaping chasm of irony!”
NOTE: I repeat, mothers who are breasts feeding, leave ketamine for the horses and cast of Skins.
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EVENTS CALENDAR
Men In Masks at Together
March-12-2010-
LOCATION:
The Coronet,
Elephant & Castle,
28 New Kent Road
London,
SE1 6TJWHAT:
Men In Masks take up their residency and play the launch party of the newly reformed TOGETHER clubnight… let the immense club scene thrive once more!
ADMISSION:
£10
Leach on Society Comedy Club with Jack Whitehall AND Isy Suttie + guests
March-17-2010-
LOCATION:
Paradise Pub,
19 Kilburn Lane,
London,
W10 4AEWHAT:
8PM-10:30PM
advance £3 tickets from http://www.ticketweb.co.uk or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) for guestlist.
‘Leach on Society Comedy Club’
Comedian and TV presenter Jeff Leach hosts this off-kilter, no-holds-barred comedy night at Paradise by way of
Kensal Rise. Featuring the finest new stand up talent, live musical comedy acts, improvisation and sketch groups all
lovingly brought together by tv’s newest rock ‘n’ roller. Content will be of an adult nature, sanitary wipes will be
provided.Line up:
Jack Whitehall
Isy Suttie
James Acaster
Lloyd Griffith
Jeff LeachADMISSION:
£3 advance / £5 door
Men In Masks at Proud Galleries
March-19-2010-
LOCATION:
Proud Galleries,
Camden Stables,
Chalk Farm Road,
London.WHAT:
11:00PM
Men In Masks aka Jeff Leach DJ at Camden’s finest club!
ADMISSION:
£5
Leach on Society Comedy Club with Brett Goldstein, James Redmon + guests
March-24-2010-
LOCATION:
Paradise Pub,
19 Kilburn Lane,
London,
W10 4AEWHAT:
8PM-10:30PM
advance £3 tickets from http://www.ticketweb.co.uk or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) for guestlist.
‘Leach on Society Comedy Club’
Comedian and TV presenter Jeff Leach hosts this off-kilter, no-holds-barred comedy night at Paradise by way of
Kensal Rise. Featuring the finest new stand up talent, live musical comedy acts, improvisation and sketch groups all
lovingly brought together by tv’s newest rock ‘n’ roller. Content will be of an adult nature, sanitary wipes will be
provided.Line up:
Brett Goldstein
James Redmond
Tom Webb
The Sunday Defensive
Jeff LeachADMISSION:
£3 advance / £5 door
Men In Masks at The Footloose Party
March-26-2010-
LOCATION:
The Castle,
Commercial Road,
Aldgate,
London.WHAT:
Jeff will be spinning dirty electro, minimal gutteral bass and jackin beats under his Men In Masks moniker with french dj superstar The Footloose.
ADMISSION:
£FREE
Men In Masks at Transmission, Dublin
March-27-2010-
LOCATION:
The Button factory,
Dublin,
Ireland.WHAT:
10PM-5AM
Men In Masks aka Jeff Leach DJs at Dublin’s finest club event alongside the talented Transmission DJs.
ADMISSION:
10 EUR
Men In Masks at Milk
April-03-2010-
LOCATION:
333 Old Street,
London,
EC1V 2PE.WHAT:
Men In Masks aka Jeff Leach plays at this fantastic shoreditch night the usual mix of dirty electro, house, jackin beats and dubstep for you to get down and very very dirty to.
ADMISSION:
£FREE
Leach on Society Comedy Club with Magnus Betner, Adam Tempest + guests
April-07-2010-
LOCATION:
Paradise Pub,
19 Kilburn Lane,
London,
W10 4AEWHAT:
8PM-10:30PM
advance £3 tickets from http://www.ticketweb.co.uk or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) for guestlist.
‘Leach on Society Comedy Club’
Comedian and TV presenter Jeff Leach hosts this off-kilter, no-holds-barred comedy night at Paradise by way of
Kensal Rise. Featuring the finest new stand up talent, live musical comedy acts, improvisation and sketch groups all
lovingly brought together by tv’s newest rock ‘n’ roller. Content will be of an adult nature, sanitary wipes will be
provided.Line up:
Magnus Betner
Adam Tempest
Andrea Hubert
Maddy Nebraska
Matthew Highton
Jeff LeachADMISSION:
£3 advance / £5 door
Men In Masks at Boink
April-09-2010-
LOCATION:
Cross Kings Jester Bar,
Kings Cross,
London.WHAT:
This new night welcomes Men In Masks and The Coolness to their launch night. Expect carnage, beats, mayhem and nudity.
ADMISSION:
£TBC
Men In Masks at Club Kamikaze
April-10-2010-
LOCATION:
Club Kamikaze,
Jersey.WHAT:
Expect big bass, dirty beats and plenty of raucous behaviour from Jeff under his Men In Masks dj moniker at this superb Jersey club night!
ADMISSION:
£TBC
Leach on Society Comedy Club with Dave Gibson AND Rob Beckett + guests
April-21-2010-
LOCATION:
Paradise Pub,
19 Kilburn Lane,
London,
W10 4AEWHAT:
8PM-10:30PM
advance £3 tickets from http://www.ticketweb.co.uk or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) for guestlist.
‘Leach on Society Comedy Club’
Comedian and TV presenter Jeff Leach hosts this off-kilter, no-holds-barred comedy night at Paradise by way of
Kensal Rise. Featuring the finest new stand up talent, live musical comedy acts, improvisation and sketch groups all
lovingly brought together by tv’s newest rock ‘n’ roller. Content will be of an adult nature, sanitary wipes will be
provided.Line up:
SPECIAL GUEST HEADLINER TO BE ANNOUNCED
Dave Gibson
Rob Beckett
Jessica Fostekew
Kishore Nayar
Ben Target
Jeff LeachADMISSION:
£3 advance / £5 door
Jeff Leach stand up at Electic Mouse Angel
April-29-2010-
LOCATION:
The Regent
201 Liverpool Road
Islington
London
N1 1LXWHAT:
Jeff Leach will be performing his revealing and hard hitting material at this awesome intimate stand up night. Arrive early as the venue is petite and the night is sweet!
ADMISSION:
£1